Say Something
by MikaylaYardley
Summary: This is an Eclare One-shot that I've had in my head for a really long time and I finally wrote it. Its my interpretation of what Clare was going through and felt when she found out Eli had cheated. FYI: I don't agree how she got back with Eli on the show. I DO NOT OWN EPITOME OR ANY OF DEGRASSI CHARACTERS. I ALSO DON'T OWN "SAY SOMETHING" BY A GREAT BIG WORLD AND CHRISTINA AGUILERA
1. Chapter 1

She looked at him, staring into those beautiful green eyes she had looked into for the last 3 years. But this time they weren't full of light, they were dark. No longer did she look into them and see him looking back at her. She couldn't see his soul and the love he had for her, and that alone broke her heart.

_Say something, I'm giving up on you._

_I'll be the one, if you want me to._

They were different she knew it. There was no way this could be true. She knew him, he wouldn't do this. They had been through everything. For 3 years they fought the ups and downs of life for each other, for their love to make it. And now here they stood, 5 little words separating them, tearing them apart at the seams.

_Anywhere I would have followed you._

_Say something, I'm giving up on you._

Her heart was bursting, it was ripping apart and she couldn't stop it, let alone stop the pain. She loved him, they were soul mates. They were going to go to college together and then start a life together. They would spend their lives loving each other and growing together. He was her life. What would she do now? Where would this leave her? Alone. She felt small, smaller than she ever had before. How did she not realize?

_And I am feeling so small. It was over my head._

_I know nothing at all._

She didn't know how she would go on without him and the love they once shared. Love blinds us all and now she knew how very true that was. In that moment she realized how very little she knew about love. Loving him was never the problem, but now she wondered if he ever loved her back. Would she ever love again? How would she be able to?

_And I will stumble and fall. I'm still learning to love._

_Just starting to crawl._

He just stood there not saying anything. She pleaded, and begged. She deserved an answer. Why did he do this? Did she do something? Wasn't she good enough for him? She blamed herself for his mistake, thinking that if she had done something different it would have never happened. She didn't understand. She did everything for him. She gave him her love and self whole heartedly, wasn't that enough?

_Say something, I'm giving up on you._

_I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you._

They could have had everything, a family, a house, a love that would never end. She would have given him anything and do anything he asked of her. Maybe he knew that and used it against her. She didn't know. She used to picture him as her hero. He was the boy who broke down her walls and showed her the beautiful woman inside. He made her do the scariest thing of all. He made her feel strong and proud. But now all she felt was weak and stupid.

_Anywhere I would have followed you. _

_Say something, I'm giving up on you._

She knew it wouldn't work. There was no way she would ever look at him the same now. There was no way she could love him the way she always did. He took that away from her. He broke her and the realization was too much to handle. She was attached to him, bounded to him in the most intimate and precious way, he had destroyed that. She had given him the most sacred thing she would ever posses, and she would never get that back. She knew what she had to do but she didn't know if she was strong enough to. She loved him desperately, and part of her didn't know if she could let him go. She didn't know if she could make it. But she knew she had to try.

_And I will swallow my pride._

_You're the one that I love, and I'm saying goodbye._

Tears poured down her face, but he didn't even look up. "You do know what this means don't you?" He didn't answer. "I can't do this anymore." Still nothing. She was screaming on the inside for an answer but she knew she had to be strong.

_Say something I'm giving up on you._

_And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you._

"Goodbye Eli." She turned to walk away but his hand on her wrist stopped her. "Please don't do this. I love you. You can't leave me." She shook him off. "I didn't do anything, you did. I loved you with everything and you destroyed that. You left me. The sad thing about it is that I really did love you. And I would have done anything for you. I would have given you everything, but you ruined that."

_And anywhere I would have followed you. Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh_

_Say something I'm giving up on you._

"You're not who I thought you were. That was the Eli I loved." She walked away leaving it all behind her. She didn't know what would happen now. But she did know that she would make it. She didn't know if she would ever love again or even find someone that would love her. But she knew that she would love herself. She loved Eli with her whole body mind and soul. And as much as it hurt her she knew she was doing the right thing.

_Say something, I'm giving up on you._

_Say something…_


	2. Chapter 2

Say Something

Chapter Two

_**Author's Note: Hey everyone, I heard great reviews for this oneshot. And I would like to thank one of my readers, Amazingxlivexlovexlaughx3, for the suggestion to make this a story. I know I have a few stories that I haven't finished. I apologize for that and want you to know that I will be posting new chapters to them this weekend. I really hope you guys enjoy where I take this story. **_

The next few days were terrible. Well actually the next few months were terrible. Senior year was almost over and luckily Clare wasn't failing any classes. She wouldn't let her friends and the ones around her see her fall apart like she did on the weekends. During school hours she was the calm and collective Clare Edwards. No one new anything was different, maybe they suspected that she was a little depressed but never anything close to how she actually felt. She was lost but she wouldn't let that ruin the hard work that she had put in high school. On the weekends things didn't matter at all. She stopped hanging out with Ali and Jenna. She stopped talking to anyone who even cared for her. She got drunk most weekends and sat in her room and cried. She had been more reckless when she first had found out. She would go out and party with the kids from the ravine. Not caring who saw her or what they thought. But now the pain stung deeper. She wasn't able to hide it away anymore. It was no longer numb it was real and it ripped at her heart and soul every chance that it got. There were so many times that she had almost called him. But she never did. She wouldn't let herself. The pain alone was too real and hearing his voice again would break her. Her plan was to get through senior year. But then she didn't know. Her old plan was to go to New York to be with Eli, and now she felt lost like a little kid away from their parents. She couldn't do anything anymore. Her ambition, her inspiration to write, her future it was all him. He was the one who opened her up to writing more passionately and personally. He taught her how to enjoy life and have fun. He taught her to love and trust. And now, she didn't have any of that. She couldn't write anymore, she had tried though. But every time she opened her laptop or put a pen to paper, everything that had happened flashed through her mind and it just hurt too much. One thing she did seem to remember was the kiss with Drew Torres. It wasn't like she sat around thinking about it, but to say that it hadn't crossed her mind at all would be a lie. She did think of him and what that kissed meant. Every time it crossed her mind she pushed it away saying that she was just lonely and it happened. It didn't mean anything. Little did she know, but it did.

_**Quick authors note: I am changing persons view. It will be Clare's but in 1**__**st**__** person. This story was originally going to be just a one shot but since I got so many sweet reviews I have decided to continue with this story and see how it goes. This story will be kind of a Clew story but it will have Eli in it. I really hope that doesn't discourage you to read it. It will still be amazing like my other stories. You all know that I am a die hard eclare shipper but after Eli cheated I just cant look at him or their love the same. The degrassi writers ruined it for me. I really hope you guys enjoy this story. I'm very excited for it. **_

Clare's POV:

It was another dreadful Monday morning and I just wanted to stay in bed. I sat up in my bed. "Uhhhhhh." I laid back down and pulled the covers over my head. "Why! Why do I have to get up?" I said not knowing my mother was standing in my door way.

"Because you have school, and you can't be late." She said scaring the crap out of me.

I pulled the covers off my head.

"Jesus mom you scared me to death." She just smiled.

"Come on get up, I'll make you breakfast." She then left the room. After everything that had happened my mom was acting very different. She was more caring and always around when I seemed to be longing for Eli even more than normal. I guess she was scared that I would off myself, or maybe she missed Eli too. She did take a liking to him when he was with me every day last summer to help me with my cancer. I hated getting hurt. I didn't think I would get hurt anymore. I thought Eli was different. But if I can beat cancer I can beat this. I think. I pulled myself from my bed and got in the shower. Ever since I had to cut off my hair getting ready took no time at all. After my shower I stood in front of the mirror staring at myself. Ever since what happened I had been doing this. I would stare at my reflection, wondering why. Wondering that if I had looked different then maybe he wouldn't have cheated. Wondering who I was, and where my life would go. Staring at myself I realized that I didn't know. I didn't know who I was. When you build your life around someone and mold yourself to them, you have no idea who you are when you lose them. And I think that's what scared me the most, even more than never finding love again.

30 minutes later and I was fully dressed and downstairs. I quickly ate avoiding any chatter with my mom. Once I was done I left riding my bike to school, passing our bench on the way. I passed our bench every morning. And every time I saw it my heart ached for him and what we had. i guess you could say that seeing it and remembering what we had and hurting over it was better than not feeling anything at all. Once I got to school I went straight to my locker, to get my books for student council and first period. I was early and had student council, so I made my way to the student council room, to find Drew already there. Ever since our kiss things have been weird. He doesn't talk or joke with me like he used too. Part of me wondered why but the other part told me not to care. He was sitting at a table looking over papers.

"Hey.." I stated awkwardly.

"Oh hey I need to ask you a few questions about the dance." He said.

Degrassi was throwing a spring formal. I wouldn't be going but I did have to help out with it.

"OK, what do you need." I asked

"Well, I can't decide on a color scheme." He said

"hmmm," I sat down at the table with him and looked at the papers. Everything was ready to be ordered, but we just needed to decide on a color scheme.

"Well, it is a spring formal, so we could always go with bright multi colors." I said .

"Great, now we can order everything." Drew was a very good president but he was a guy and guys didn't really know anything about fashion and what colors girls would want to wear to a spring formal.

"So do you need my help with anything else?" I asked.

He finished putting away his papers and then he turned toward me.

"Well, actually I wanted to talk to you about something." He said nervously.

Oh shit please no.

"Look Clare, I know you've been going through a lot. Anyone can see that, and I just want you to know that I'm here for you…whenever you need something or someone." He said

"…Thanks." I said.

"So anyways, I'll order the things we need and they should be here by Wensday. Can you stay after school Thursday and Friday to help setup with the dance?" he said changing the subject. I guessed he could tell how uncomfortable I was.

"I thought the rest of student council was going to help." I said

"Well, 3 of them are sick, and 2 are busy working on the ticket booth for the dance and the rest of them are working on our memo that we are giving the principal Simpson next week." He said

"Oh, ok yeah I can help." I said

"Thank god, looks like it's just me and you Edwards." He smiled and for the first time in a long time I felt something. My heart was pounding. Why was I nervous to be alone with Drew? This wasn't going to be good.


End file.
